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June 12, 2002

that's some crazy crab syndrome wes.. good thing you have things under control.. can you imagine someone else saying the same line, "OK, now once i get home i gotta take care of my little crab problem.".. but actually meaning it?.. how would he recover or respond?.. "oh snaps.. y'all know i have crabs now.. not the sealife creature kind.. i'm a living cesspool of pubic candy..".. i would smile.. then maybe cry.. can you imagine goin to a bomba (strip) show.. and seeing crabs all over the ladies crevices?.. talk about hello!.. happy birthday..

speaking of people who are 22 years speed.. dun ask.. pharoahs for coastal?.. i'm down.. i'm down for some camp action.. i'm soo down.. i'm camp lo.. luchini man.. hope it's nice that weekend.. cuz i heard it's goin to be tre bunk.. i can't stand the rain.. i can't stand shaq.. but L.A. is goin to win.. truth is.. i like both teams.. but new jersey is getting served for reals.. L.A. might be letting them get a win so they can finish it back home.. it'd be sweet if todd macculloch could bring home the nba champtionship trophy (does it have a name?) back to winnipeg.. that'd be a laugh..

what's not a laughing matter was that whole fiasco on mcphillips and logan.. hey wes.. danny.. were you guys working during that yesterday?.. man, i was really worried for you two.. i almost cried.. hahaha.. but seriously.. that's crazy.. never got to see it live and in color.. well i'm gone like mark being 21..

"look in the sky.. it's a bird.. it's a plan. it's really a fuckin plane that's goin to crash on us.. oh my god get outta the wa..!!"
-random people on mcphillips and logan yesterday

June 11, 2002

NES POWER BUTTON

so im at polo park's Gap yesterday with kat looking for some leg-wear.. were browsing and browsing.. i find a pair.. i try it on.. they fit sweetin.. we browse some more and i say to kat in a voice of hearable volume:

"OK, now once i get home i gotta take care of my little crab problem."

well then.. 600 nanoseconds after i say the silent "." in that sentence, im replaying it again and im thinkin whoah.. thats not cool to hear, is it?

SUPER NES RESET LEVER

me N kat hit up taco bell to eat and were eating cheese burritos discussing business as usual.. how my hair is kinda long and parted now; what i should get her for her birthday; how the lady with crooked eyes dropped the table wiper towel on the ground and proceeded to wipe the tables.. u know, business.. so were all gettin our eat on and we decide to hit up polo.. we go through the safeway so we can hit up the bank and get to the mall entrance.. i need some fish food because my mom sillily spilled like 3 days worth of food in my tank.. i hop in Petland to grab some and i see some crazy looking crabs.. Fidler Crabs.. the guys with one arm thats big and the other thats small.. those guys.. so yeah.. i bought one for $6.09 and some shrimp pellets..

X-BOX DVD FAST FORWARD pressed 3 times for 32X speed

...im thinkin whoa.. thats not cool to hear, is it? so in quick-minded fashion and upped volume, im all, "yeah.. my new pet.. a fidler crab.. not the genital disease.. my pubics are fine. no itch in my gitch." good save, eh? i didnt say the last line though.. the itch-gitch ryhme.. just though of that now.. but i think it was still pretty bossin..

GENESIS START BUTTON

ok.. so my crab problem was really the issue of him getting some air cuz they dont just breathe water.. "Get out of town!" thats what i said to the cash dude cause man, crab equals water dwelling bandits.. so i get home and i drop him in my tank for like 2 minutes and he's all eating the food-covered ground with filipino hand-eating technique.. then he tries to climb the glass like a bat out of hell.. that doesnt make any sense but thats how crazy it was.. it looked like he was gasping for air.. insanity at its death.. i take him out and he's now sitting in a tupperware bowl with water and rocks and two shrimp pellets a day until i get him a sweet home alabama.. his name is Trevor.. that took me exactly 63 seconds to think of, from the Petland cash register to the centre of polo where we first signed up for our high speed videon cable.. name origin: back in elementary me and coast went to school with this one native guy who always had PBNS, post-bleeding-nose syndrome.. so yeah.. crusties on the nose 24/7, it was sick so i try to make sure to take the necessary precautions after bloody nose occurences to avoid PBNS and WIPE MY NOSE.. thats the only cure.. tissue.. ok.. so anyway, the guys name was Trevor Fidler.. need i say more?.. yeah.. alright.. enough of this.. im upgrading to win2000 at school so i'll be offline for a moments time.. til next time which is probably on SAT at Pharaohs.. mark's gonna get soooo drunk..

SEGA-CD POWER BUTTON

"somebody else do some damage here or there's gonna be some PBNS going around."
-anonymous-

June 06, 2002

ok guys.. just because the upcoming release of relapsed.com is growing nearer and nearer, doesnt mean we cant keep up the BM activity.. as for the little problem at my house with viewing this brokun site, the problem was that we were going to www.bounce.to/bmz.. thats a totally different site than our non-www site.. go fig.. so its mark's bday soon enough.. wonder what were doing? mark! whats the plan? come on party man.. oh.. a story for u fellows.. i was working right.. and as im coming out of the back room this chick goes up to me and says she needs a box of a dozen eggs.. that's 15 dozens.. so im all, ok.. no prob.. and i go to the back fridge and fetch a case.. i come back gripping the sides of the monitor-sized box for her.. now i know it probably wasnt on purpose and the fact that i got the side-grips going on doesnt help but when i handed her the box she pulls under-over grab technique which resulted in penis touch.. yep.. penis touch.. insanity.. ok.. thats my story.. nothing out of the ordinary but i thought it was post-worthy.. k, flip you.

"whoa.. i'd like a case of that action.."
master of the -over-under grab technique